21 Comments
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ricebaby's avatar

This is my second post-partum. I thought i’d be better at it (i am in some ways). But all the things you state, they’re real & pretty much the same as the first time around 😮‍💨 love my kids but never doing this again 🥲

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Mad Bad Tea's avatar

Ugh sending you a virtual hug. I am also never ever doing this again!

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Cloé's avatar

Saving this for my fast approaching post partum 🧡

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Mad Bad Tea's avatar

You got this queen!!!!

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Christina's avatar

“No one sees the woman disappearing inside the miracle”

I fought hard for my pregnancy, but didn’t expect the postpartum/identity death that came after.

P.s - Unaware of lymphatic drainage. Total must next time around.

*Also— Thank you for making me feel seen. Seriously. This is raw.

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Mad Bad Tea's avatar

You are so welcome! And yes lymphatic all the way!!!!

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Wiss's avatar

Very helpful! Currently in the thick of it 💖

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Aukje Anna's avatar

😍😍😍😍

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Ashley Wilen's avatar

My daughter turns one in less than a week and I still struggle to look in the mirror/spend any time on self care. I see old pictures of me and think, I'll never be her again, ah I used to be so cute. Hahah. I'm also due with our second in a couple weeks, so all the postpartum everything will be back, I'm not ready for the hair loss. That drove me mad the first time.

This post made me feel completely seen and encouraged too. Thank you for sharing.

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Mad Bad Tea's avatar

Oh man… I totally relate to looking at old photos of myself and thinking “wow I was so fab”…. What happened?! I’m sending you a lot of safety, support, and time for yourself in your next PP. 🫂

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Katherine Hanes's avatar

So glad I found your substack! My daughter is about to turn 3 (it does get a bit easier, which is also v annoying to hear when you have a tiny baby) but so much of this still resonates. Thank you! x

Also, the book "Matrescence" by Lucy Jones. I have a feeling maybe you've already read it tho :)

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Mad Bad Tea's avatar

Actually I’ve never read it!!!! But I will. And I know it gets easier. But if it gets easier in 3 years… that’s a long time to be struggling. I wish it got easier at 3 months because women had resources, information, time for themselves! Etc

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Kiya Taylor's avatar

Wow. This was deeply relatable, authentic and genuinely helpful. Thank you for sharing this!

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Mad Bad Tea's avatar

I’m so happy. It makes me feel seen and less alone to hear you can relate 🩷.

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Emma-Kate Wilson's avatar

Oh my heart needed all this. I look down at my little belly that has looked any smaller than 5 months pregnant after the birth of my second daughter. Working on inflammation and yoga and avoiding sugar and alcohol and caffeine. But some days the last three things are the only things that keep me going! ❤️

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Mad Bad Tea's avatar

Oh do I feel the same 🫂

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Jessica Alice's avatar

It sounds like you have a vitamin or mineral deficiency or possibly a hormonal imbalance. All to be expected after pregnancy. I suggest you get a heap of blood tests and I highly recommend Lara Briden's work as well as Dr Libby Weaver. Don't settle for a doctor saying your test results are in the "normal" range - as these two women prove, blood test ranges are a total hoax.

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Kathy Brown's avatar

I’m a first time mama due in October, and am saving the link to this on my notes so I can come back to it when I’m in the trenches! Thank you for being so generous with your advice/tips.💛

Currently I feel so good in my pregnant body (I actually wrote about this last night here: https://littlelovestories.substack.com/p/i-dont-think-i-hate-my-body-anymore) but I’ve no doubt post-partum will be tough. I’ve heard so many mums struggle with similar things and go through an identity crisis.

Sending all the love your way and thanks again for sharing all of this!

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Allegra Zerz's avatar

I also recently wrote about mom rage - isn’t it fascinating how the experiences are so unique but still echo through lives. Thanks for sharing. I had hair problems after covid and again post-partum (stress, hormones and again covid) - what really helped me (no ad) is: https://harklinikken.eu/ I signed up for a 6-12 months hair therapy and am only 2 months in but already see a difference.

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Saz's avatar

This is so real and honest and made me feel so heard and validated. Thank you

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